Holiday Self-Care: How to Show Up for the Ones You Love

Start Healthy Traditions this Year

Photo by Christina Rumpf on Unsplash

When I teach interpersonal communication classes, I spend plenty of time talking about self-care. It’s nearly impossible to show up in a relationship as our best self if we’re physically or emotionally frazzled. Yet, when the holidays roll around, I am reminded that knowing and doing are distinctly different. I know that to get the most out of the holidays, I must do the things that keep my human system fully functional. For me, and maybe for you too, a quick reminder never hurts.

Physical Wellness

1. Prioritize Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Quality rest can significantly impact your mood and energy levels.

2. Healthy Eating: Try to maintain a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. It's okay to indulge occasionally, but moderation is key.

3. Stay Active: Even short bursts of exercise can be beneficial. Consider a brisk walk, a quick yoga session, or even dancing to your favorite holiday tunes.

Gifts to buy? Dinners to plan? Presents to wrap? Cards to mail? Cookies to bake? None of these things matter more than your physical wellness. If your sleep and healthy dietary choices get exchanged for to-do list completion, you’re giving yourself a pretty stinky gift (think ugly Christmas sweater). It’s like filling your own stocking with coal.

What if you coordinated future lunch dates with friends in lieu of gifts, popped bows on Amazon boxes instead of wrapping each one with meticulous care, skipped sending Christmas cards this year, and had your cookies delivered from Costco? Just hit pause on your inner Martha Stewart! If a handful of practical choices create more time for you to sleep and eat well, you are certain to show up as your best, most loving holiday self. I have nothing against crafty holiday creations, as long as they don’t come at the cost of our physical health.

And even though you’re busier than usual, don’t skip exercise! Not only will it make you feel better this holiday season, exercise even helps you live longer. One of my favorite health-related books this year was Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia. In it, he writes:

“The single most powerful item in our preventive tool kit is exercise, which has a two-pronged impact on Alzheimer’s disease risk: it helps maintain glucose homeostasis, and it improves the health of our vasculature.”

Trust me: If you’re feeling frazzled under the mistletoe, nobody is going to want to kiss you, let alone praise you for all the extra hours you spent turning your home into a Norman Rockwell painting. The important people in your life want to spend time with YOU, not all the stuff on your to-do list.

Emotional Wellness

1. Set Boundaries: It's okay to say no to events or activities that feel overwhelming. Prioritize what truly matters to you.

2. Mindfulness Practices: Continue with yoga or meditation, and consider incorporating deep breathing exercises or journaling.

3. Limit Alcohol: Excessive alcohol can have negative effects. Stick to your personal limits to avoid feeling unwell.

Of course, taking care of our physical well-being is only half the challenge. Even if we’re pros at tending to our physical needs, holiday stressors can leave us feeling off balance, or worse, anxious and depressed. Take a break from holiday fun if you are feeling overwhelmed.

It might be tempting to have that extra glass of champagne or brandy-infused eggnog, but it’s not worth it. You know your tolerance level. Commit to personal consumption boundaries before you step foot in that holiday party. Excessive alcohol can disrupt our sleep cycle, make us dehydrated, give us headaches, and leave us feeling depressed the next day.

If you have a mindfulness practice, like yoga or meditation, the holidays are the perfect time to honor it. Heck, invite your family members to join you! Make new memories around mindful, healthy shared experiences.

During the holiday season, it's easy for me to make excuses: I usually eat healthy, so why not devour that entire tin of Christmas cookies? I’m usually careful with alcohol, so why not let loose and really tie one on? I usually exercise regularly, so why not skip it? But I know that to be fully present with my visiting adult daughters, re-connect with my extended family, and sincerely enjoy my rambunctious nieces and nephews, I must embrace self-care. If you want to enjoy the holidays, treat yourself better than ever. Make self-care a part of your family tradition.

Practical Tips

1. Delegate Tasks: Share responsibilities with family members or friends. It can make holiday preparations more enjoyable and less stressful.

2. Simplify Traditions: Focus on the traditions that bring you joy and let go of those that feel like obligations.

3. Plan Ahead: It’s okay to suggest “no political talk at the holiday table” if it reduces your stress level.

Please be kind to yourself this holiday season. Remember, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones and creating meaningful memories. Taking care of yourself ensures you can fully enjoy these moments. It’s the key to showing up for all the people who love you.

How do you plan to incorporate self-care into your holiday routine this year? I’d love to hear from you!